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20130801
20130831
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WFDC (Univision) 60
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Spanish 54
Search Results 0 to 49 of about 60 (some duplicates have been removed)
Univision
Aug 9, 2013 6:30pm EDT
anything left from the co-author of " >> america is a sexy [beep]. the greatest country ever. mark, [beep], everybody! >> is da appearance? >> i have never interviewed my dad before. i'm going home and interviewing him and my mom. and nervous actually. >> what is the biggest political argument you have gotten into with your dad? >> gay find a middle ground on. >> you talk about romance on your show. is there someone special in your life at the moment? >> no, i'm so single. i'm so singl a guy that makes me want to have kids. >> good answer. do you have any desire for political never. once this show comes out, it will never happen. >> if you were to reconsider, i would vote for you. >> thank you, rio. if you ever run, i would vote for you, too. >> thank you very much. running mate right the >> meanwhile be sure to check out meghan's new show "raising mccain" premiering september 14. >> thank you. next, the new book expl untold kennedy stories andndals. >> jack kennedy was receiving very streatments. >> "extra" behind the scenes of "devious maids," what was the most shocking moment on set? >
Univision
Aug 11, 2013 6:30pm EDT
me a latino man who knows something about ve lo, and who looks like this. america, welcome home the brave. the brave men and women who served their country are coming home. home to their cities and towns, home to their mountains and valleys, home to their families and friends. home to america. some of these warriors are coming home with wounds you can see, and some with wounds you can't see, like post-traumatic stress disorder. to ensure their return to america is well adjusted and successful. but we need your help to ensure that our mission is a success. help us honor and empower these wounded warriors. contact us at findwwp.org. america, welcome home the brave. but sometimes, i still struggled to get going, even get through the day. so i was honest with my doctor. i told her i'd been feeling stuck for a long time. she said that for some pele, an antidepressant alone only helps so much and suggested we add she said that by takinboth, some people had symptom improvement as early as 1 to 2 weeks. [ female announcer ] abilify is not for everyone. call your doctor if your depressio
Univision
Aug 8, 2013 5:00pm EDT
. and i look forward to catching up with him. but up next from "america's got talent," the always enjoyable howie mandel is here! go! olive garden's new lunch combinations. choose from calzones and sandwiches. like our new signature meatball sandwich. served with unlimited soup or salad. so many lunch combinations starting at $6.99. when you go olive garden! to prove that our diapers with new surefit...parents time to go night night can outlast even these busy sleepers. oh, the ds dry. only huggies diapers have a flexible surefit design with betterrs baby dry. [ bats squealing ] we weren't really morning people. we'rl. then we tried this nutri-grain fruit crunch bar. it's so crunchy. crunchy granola, mmmm... made with real fruit, 20 grams of whole grains. now, we love mornings. it's amazing what we're getting done. [ laughs ] whoa. slow down, boy. mornings. who knew? kellogg's nutri-grain fruit crunch. love the morning. a little? [ sizzling ] a little more? [ sizzling louder ] how about a lot more? [ flames crackle ] oh. ♪ let's get zesty. >> wendy: welcome back. we love our fir
Univision
Aug 12, 2013 6:30pm EDT
-author of "america, you sexy b-word." >> america is a sexy [beep]. the greatest country ever. america, [beep] everybody! >> is dad going to make an appearance? >> i have never interviewed my dad before. i'm going home and interviewing him and my mom. i'm intimidated and nervous actually. >> what is the biggest political argument you have gotten into with your dad? >> gay marriage. that continues to be the issue that we cannot find a middle ground on. >> has technology killed the art of romance? >> you talk about romance on your show. is there someone special in your life at the moment? >> no, i'm so single. i have been filming forever. i'm so single. i want to meet a guy that makes me want to have kids. >> good answer. do you have any desire for political office? >> never. once this show comes out, it will never happen. >> if you were to reconsider, i would vote for you. >> thank you, mario. if you ever run, i would vote for you, too. >> thank you very much. running mate right there. boom. >> meanwhile be sure to check out meghan's new show "raising mccain" premiering september 14. >> thank
Univision
Aug 9, 2013 5:00am EDT
that first deal, i would have never got the number-one hit reality real estate show in america, become america's number-onee me, and trainer and investor, and ultimately i wouldt be talking to you right now. if i can do it, you can do it. if my students can do it, you can do it.n do it with the t training, but you got to call that number. >> announcer: armando montelongo, star of a&e's hit tv show fliphis house, and inc. 500's number oneeducaty in the country is bringing his armando live event series to your area this week. this is a rare opportunityto lee real estate strategies that made him a household name. armando's team will take youandw you that you can eliminate debt and create cash now so you and your family can benefit from today's foreclosure market. at armando's live event, you will learn that you can help others out of foreclosure while making huge sums of cash in today's market and in your backyard; that now is the time to buy renovate, and sell real estate with or without your money or your credit; that you can do this in your marketplace now; you can get pre-foreclosures
Univision
Aug 7, 2013 11:35pm EDT
. could i get another one of those, actually? thank you. [ male announcer ] hey, america, we're here to help. americashelper.com. we're here to help. we should be having sex 3 times a week. where did you get that from? these are the numbers, man. if we want to be doing it twice a week 20 years from now, we should be doing it 3 times a week now. what? my father told me his stats. you talked to your father about their sex life? yes, i did, and listen, everything my mother told you yesterday-- lies, ok? my father told me the truth. it's the exact opposite. twice a week. no way! yes! yes! no. that is impossible. your mother told me, flat out, once a year. and since when is she ever straight with you? well, she didn't lie about this, a-and frank would lie especially about this. why? why do you say that? because he's a man. so? so what? i'm a man. yeah, well, you lie to me about our own sex life. when? when do i do that? what does "all night long" mean to you? it's a figure of speech. nobody really means that. men lie and your father's a liar. that is not true. my mother's the liar. ray, s
Univision
Aug 8, 2013 5:00am EDT
, i know how to do it in your marketplace, and i'm known as america's number-one and top real estate investing expert. and why am i telling you this? because we'll show you and take you and lead you by th and the benefit for you is this: if you're sitting on the other side of this camera going, "you know what, armando? i go, i've tried everything, i've tried other programs, i've tried other things and they didn't work out," this will work if you do exactly what i say and allow me to lead you by the hand. if you're a stay-at-home mom, or you know what, if you're have childrennd you've been to support and you know that you deserve a better life and you need a better life and right now is the time to get a better life, and you know that you need to do better financially for your family, then real estate and my system, my live events can help get you there now.man , wife lost faith in him, if your wi lost faith in you and says, "you know what? he's a good man, but he's not successful and he's not providing for our family the wahe should," check out the video testimonial of one of my stud
Univision
Aug 10, 2013 11:30pm EDT
it delivers america's fastest, most reliable internet for blazing fast movie downloads and smooth streaming video playback. plus get unbeatable tv picture quality. so switch to fios for just $89.99 a month guaranteed for 2 years, and your choice of a $300 amazon.com gift card or a $300 visa prepaid card with a 2-year agreement. visit verizon.com/hotbonus for customers with disabilities at 800.974.6006 tty/v. technology that makes life more entertaining, that's powerful. [ hero mom ] oh, yeah. we're gettin' cereal. 'cause over 40 general mills cereals are 130 calories or less per serving. just look for the g. boom! that's how nutrition is done, people. [ laughs ] ♪ [ female announcer ] hey ladies.ghs ] you love it. you've got to have it. cinnamon toast crunch, 'cause that cinnamon and sugar is so irresistible. everybody craves those crazy squares.® want to start the day with something heart you're a talking bee... honey nut cheerios has whole grain oats that can help lower cholesterol. and it tastes good? sure does! right... ♪ wow. delicious, right? yeah. it's the honey, it ♪ well, wo
Univision
Aug 12, 2013 11:00pm EDT
power right to your door. that's why it delivers america's fastest, most reliable internet for blazing fast movie downloads and smooth streaming video playback. plus get unbeatable tv picture quality. so switch to fios for just $89.99 a month guaranteed for 2 years, and your choice of a $300 amazon.com gift card or a $300 visa prepaid card with a 2-year agreement. visit verizon.com/hotbonus call the verizon center for this amazing deal. for customers with disabilities at 800.974.6006 tty/v. technology that makes life more entertaining, that's powerful. technology that makes life deb.e entertaining, deb. ow!!! hey! what's up? what are you doing? am i stupid? if this is your new way of asking for sex, then yes. come on, don't you see? that's what i passed on to michael. that's my legacy, the dumbness. no. you've passed on other things. your lack of tushie. ha. yeah, very funny. you have a stupid kid, you don't even care. he is not stupid. then why isn't he the same as geoffrey? you can't even get good twins anymore. why don't you think of it this way, ok? michael is the way the twins sho
Univision
Aug 17, 2013 5:20pm EDT
, and meets the highest standards of america's leading charity evaluators. more than 96% of all donations go directly to programs that help the poor. for a lot of my friends and my peers, we're very interested in knowing that our dollars are doing what they're supposed to, and because i feel comfortable with that, i feel comfortable endorsing them to others. there's an immediacy in seeing the kind of results that they have, how they spend their monies, and the fact that they've been there long-term and they've been there consistently. [announcer]: call right now to help bring the miracle of food and medicine to children in need before it's too late. children are waiting for your help today. please, call now. for the children you've seen today, time is running out. every minute, they become more malnourished. sickness, starvation, and death will surely follow if we don't get them food and medicine soon. every one of these little ones is precious in god's sight. won't you help save them by picking up the phone or going online now? it takes so little to do so much. just two weeks ago, carla alm
Univision
Aug 24, 2013 6:30pm EDT
you've got verizon fios, that's when you get it -- america's fastest, most reliable internet takes your entertainment to ridiculous levels. i was streaming videos, movies, music. once i realized how fast it was, that's when i got it. [ male announcer ] and now you can get it too. for a limited time, switch to fios online for an amazing $79.99 a month for the first year. plus your choice of a $300 amazon.com gift card or visa prepaid card with a 2-year agreement. technology that makes life more entertaining, call the verizon center for customers with disabilities that's powerful. at 800.974.6006 tty/v. >> chick: fed ex field. a limited number of 2013 premium seat tickets are available. call the redskins now at (301)276-7800. >> that's a large pretzel. that's going to take a while. >> joe: he'll get two bites in before the buffalo bills don't move it around again. >> reporter: minnifield with a big hit. i i the point i was trying to make before the washington redskins have the ball, 10 1/2 minutes, the buffalo bills, 4 1/2 minutes. and there is the pop. >> chick: min griltd with the
Univision
Aug 12, 2013 6:30am EDT
, i tell youow, i will not restunn every home in america and throughout the world. cheers. call or go online now and may the juice be with you. [cheering and applause] >> announcer: call now and get the entire fusion juicer system complete with its lifetime motor guarantee for just six payments of $19.99. but hold on. call in the next two minutes and we'll also send youazing fue recipes book. juice your way to health with over 100 nutrient-rich recipes that address concerns like muscle and joint stiffness, stress and lack of energy, recipes to help reduce cholesterol, even control weight. and to help you achieve these goals, you'll also get the amazing fusion juir 6-week turnaround program. starting this program can put you on a road to positive changes in sleep quality, cholesterol levels, inflammation and other important health markers. together, this $40 value is yours free when you order. but that's not all. order today and get this free bos that can turn your nutrient-packed juice into a super-charged nutrient-packed wellness drink on the go. boost your juices with super antioxid
Univision
Aug 8, 2013 11:35pm EDT
announcer ] hey, america, we're here to help. americashelper.com. captions paid for by. the fox broadcasting company >>> welcome to "dish nation." i'm rickey smiley from right here in atlanta, georgia. hey, right now, all the way across the country, in l.a., heidi and frank. >> yeah! >> hey, rickey. we were able to find the comedy incancer, thanks to chris rock and pamela anderson. >> you know you need i rickey. we've got today's rick squish. >> let's see what's going on in the dfw. what's up, dallas? zg1@&hc& >> throw your hands in the kelly. >> you missed it. >> check it i tonigdon't know if you guys hot date this weekend. >> let's hope your date doesn't show up with oprah hair. what is that? >> britney spears versus christina a but first, we've go judges, heidi klum and for all the believers out there,here's been a bieber fiasco. started right here in atlanta! >> you'll never guess what sparked a nightclub brawl with justin bieber. >> what? >> a white bow tie. let's break this down. nightclub in southampton. justin bieber chilling with all his boys. wayne reynolds rocking a white bow tie.
Univision
Aug 8, 2013 5:35am EDT
america. that's more than 50,000 reasons to call, but the most important reason is you. you'll be amazed at what hair club can do for you. call now. stopping your hair loss is just a phone call away. i want every day. i can go i can do whatever. it's fabulous. >> that one day th phone call was the best decision i made, so if there's any advice that i can give, make that call. >> [chuckles] you guys don't need to shave that head. you know, keep some hair on there. join the hair club like i did. >> i called hair club, and i have never felt better. i've got great, healthy hair, i look younger, and i feel terrific. >> don't hesitate. go in right now, because you will feel better, you'll look better, and it'll be something that you will appreciate in the long run. >> it's all about you. hair club does what's right for you. >> i love my hair. i love how i feel about my hair. >> so i went and checked it out, made the phone call, and it really changed my life. >> and if you want to look better, if you want to feel better about yourself, club is . >> every day that i get up, i can say "ooh," righ
Univision
Aug 8, 2013 6:00am EDT
. if i hadn't have taken that first deal, i would have nevergy real estate show in america, become america's number-one real estate mentor, leader, and trainer and investor, and ultimately i wouldn't be talking to you right now. if i can do it, you can do it. yocan do it.ts can do it, anybody can do it with the right training, but you got to call that number. >> announcer: armando montelongo, star of a&e's hit tv show flip this house, and inc. 500's number one educational company in the country is bringing his armando live event se this week. this is a to learn armando's millionaire real estate strategies that made him a household name. armando's team will take you by the hand and show you that you can eliminate debt and create cash now so you and your family can benefit from today's foreclosure market. at armando's live event, you can help others out of foreclosure while making huge sums of cash in today's market and in your backyard; that now is the time to buy renovate, and sell real estate with or without your money or you do this in your marketplace now; you can get pre-forecl
Univision
Aug 8, 2013 6:30am EDT
. america's favorite dance judge... >> whoo-hoo! >> announcer: ...mary murphy from fox's "so you think you can dance." >> you are in the top 20! yeah! fabulous job up there. whoo! [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: how does she look so good? >> everybody tal about how flawless my skin looks on tv, and i love that. [ laughs ] >> announcer: so, what's the secret to mary murphy looking so amazing on tv? >> if anybody ou me on tv, you've seen luminess. that's what i've used on "so you think you can dance" for so many years. when the luminess on, i just said "wow. look at the skin." it was flawless. there was a time in hollywood years ago that the makeup was caked on, but with luminess today, it is the exact opposite. when i use it, it's just like spraying a really fine mist my face, you hardly feel it, and it ends up coming out flawless. flawless! look at my skin! i love the way this feels on my skin, and they've made it so easy. back, and the spray just comes out so nice and even. it makes my skin feel and look years younger. i love the way this makes my skin look. as i got older, age spot
Univision
Aug 9, 2013 6:00am EDT
as america's number-one and top real estate investing expert. and why am i telling you this? because we'll show you and take you and lead you by the hand, and the benefit for you is this: if you're sitting on the other side of this camera going, "you know what, armando? i go, i've tried everything, i've tried other programs, i've tried other t they didn't work out," this will work if you do exactly what i say and allow me to lead you by the hand. if you're a stay-at-home mom, or you know what, if you're a single mom and you've been left alone and you have children toupport and you know that you deserve a better life and you need a better life and right now is the time to get a better life, andknow to better financially for your family, then real estate and my system, my live events g, wife lost faith in him, if your wife lost faith in you and says, "you know what? he's a good man, but he's not successful and he's not providing for our family the way he should," check out the video testimonial of one of my students whose wife now supports him to the highest degree and has total and absol
Univision
Aug 12, 2013 7:00am EDT
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Univision
Aug 7, 2013 6:30pm EDT
, there are more ways than ever to love caramel. try the new caramel coconut today. america runs on dunkin'. with high def screen, ultra-fast wi-fi and access to 23 million movies, tv shows, music, and apps -- ultra-fast wi-fi all for much less than an ipad mini. i couldn't believe how good the value was for the money i paid. it gives you all the options with the apps as far as netflix, hulu, great internet browser. [ male announcer ] act now, and as part of this special tv offer, you'll get a custom cover worth over $30, plus a $25 amazon.com gift card -- both free with your kindle fire hd. i can play games, listen to music, watch television shows. my daughter is really into caillou, curious george. the picture is really sharp and really clear. [ male announcer ] get a new kindle fire hd, and a free $25 amazon.com gift card. this is a limited-time offer, and you won't find it anywhere else. kindle fire is amazing. it's a life-changer. [ male announcer ] go online to order now. hmm. the problem appears to be unsolvable. maybe we could run some computer simulations. there are too many varia
Univision
Aug 8, 2013 6:00pm EDT
are off for the first time howard howard and the "america's got talent" crew talking to a.j. about their boss' rumored baby mama drama. >> he is too busy with sex. if he was here doing his job and running things. i think simon should wear a bber. there is no doubt. >> stern giving simon the business like only he can, the two tying for first place on tv personalities. both raking in $95 million last year. new andrew silverman, simon's friend, is faking his outrage over his wife lauren rom cowell. the real estate developer apparently knew what was going on and is more upset that his bromance with simon is over. howie mandel fresh off nbc's live quarterfinals at radio city says simon needs to get one thing straight. >> apparently it is, right? did you talk to mowry povich. >> andrew, you are not the father. >> joking aside, former prosecutor loni coombs says a d.n.a. test is a good idea. >>king on child should make sure you are the father of the child. >> host nick cannon looking forward to having a new baby around. t will be crazy. wearing v-necked shirts, chest all out. cowell cowel
Univision
Aug 8, 2013 6:30pm EDT
. america runs on dunkin'. pers' "under the bridge" playing) ♪ i don't ever want to feel ♪ like i did that day ♪ take me to the place i love the way ♪ (falsetto): ♪ and i don't ever want to feel ♪ ♪ like i did that day ♪ take me to the place i lo... (shrieks) (music stops) fellas, please. penny, come on. we were just finding our sound. it's the sound of a cat being run over by a lawn mower. i'm really very busy. is there any way that we can put this off until i have more time to prepare? of course. but, uh, you understand my trepidation. what's that about? can't we just postpone it till the spring? maybe next summer? this should be fairly easy to deduce. he's holding the phone to his left ear. ears do not cross hemispheres, so he's using the analytical he has no personal relationship with the caller. leonard: no, i didn't realize it had been so long. sure, i guess there's no oth choice but to just go ahead and do it. he's referring to an activity he has done before. it's unpleasant and needs to be repeated. this suggests some sort of invasive medical test, like perhaps a c
Univision
Aug 12, 2013 1:00am EDT
. i know exactly how to do it, i know how to do i in your marketplace, and i'm known as america's number-one and top real estate and why am i telling you this? because we'll show you and take you and lead you by the hand, and the benefit for you is this: if you're sitting on the other side of this camera going, "you know what, armando? i go, i've tried everything, i've tried other programs, i've tried other things and they didn't work out," this will work if you do exactly what i say and allow me to lead you by the hand. if you're a stay-at-home mom, or you know what, if you're a single mom and you've been left alone and you have children to support and you know that you deserve a better life and you need a better life d right now is the time to get a better life, and you know that you need to do fir your family, then real estate and my system, my live events can help get you there now. if you'ra man who, literally, wife lost faith in him, if your wife lost faith in you and says, "you know what? he's a good man, but he's not providing for our family the way he should," check out
Univision
Aug 12, 2013 5:35am EDT
. i know how that is. i came to is country with nothing and no credit registered car in america. thank you sign & drive 45. and the bills were way more than what the car was worth. so i went to sign & drive for 45 and that was 0 down payment no payments for six weeks what more could you ask for? how many working 9 to 5 got a little job.ingk majority of the people. i got a job i hate my job because i got that one supervisor been getting on my nerves he wanted to be the manager and never be able to be the manager you know what i'm talking about he just take the job too seriously like i was watching the news the other day and thisthe this is what i mean people taking their job to serious a bomb goes off during this guy's report set there like the bomb didn't go off. hey this is dan rather over here in baghdad apparently 4 american soldiers got shot boom as you guys just heard a bomb just went off behind we're going to keep focused and we're gointo keep ahead. can you imagine that with me or any other brother? that would have been totally different, right? hey this is lc over here in baghd
Univision
Aug 16, 2013 6:00pm EDT
agreement. fios brings 100% fiber optic power right to your door. that's why it delivers america's fastest, most reliable internet for blazing fast movie downloads and smooth streaming video playback. plus get unbeatable tv picture quality. so switch to fios for just $89.99 a month guaranteed for 2 years, and your choice of a $300 amazon.com gift card or a $300 visa prepaid card with a 2-year agreement. visit verizon.com/hotbonus call the verizon center for this amazing deal. for customers with disabilities at 800.974.6006 tty/v. technology that makes life more entertaining, that's powerful. vo:remember to changew that oil is the it on schedule toy car. keep your car healthy. technology that makes life more entertaining, show your car a little love with an oil change starting at $19.95. see, this movie's a nice compromise. it's french, but it's about a guy who cuts off people's feet with a chainsaw. except they don't show anything. they just talk about it in a cafe. well, they're leaving it up to your imagination. okay, i didn't pay $10 to imagine-- shh! hey, don't shush him. he's right. t
Univision
Aug 18, 2013 6:30pm EDT
for the celtics and lakers and win a few championships and marry miss america, unrealistic expectations. >> you know what happened? >> what? >> i blew out my knee in college and everything changed. >> but that won't happen to me. >> i said that too. but thank goodness i had a backup plan. i used my time wisely in college and got my degree. lucky for me i had something to fall back on. >> so what, now you don't think i should play either? >> you can look yourself in the mirror and honestly say you did your best to pass mr. jackson's test and that you tried your absolute hardest, then, yeah, you can play. >> i can? >> he can? >> well, i tried my absolute hardest. i'm going to play. >> i think that's a huge mistake. >> i don't think so. i'll bet your life on it. >> no, i didn't try my hardest. i'm not going to play. >> you're smarter than you look. >> where could he be? >> i can't believe this is happening. >> did you get the chicken cacciatore? >> i promise, i didn't eat it. bobby did. >> why did bobby do that? >> because i gave it to him. >> i can't believe you would purposely hurt me. >> i was
Univision
Aug 18, 2013 11:35pm EDT
. and once you've got verizon fios, that's when you get it -- america's fastest, most reliable internet takes your entertainment to ridiculous levels. i was streaming videos, movies, music. once i realized how fast it was, that's when i got it. [ male announcer ] and now you can get it too. for a limited time, switch to fios online for an amazing $79.99 a month for the first year. plus your choice of a $300 amazon.com gift card or visa prepaid card with a 2-year agreement. technology that makes life more entertaining, call the verizon center for customers with disabilities that's powerful. at 800.974.6006 tty/v. did nana ever give you cheerios when you were a little kid? yeah, she did. were cheerios the same back then? cheerios has pretty much been the same forever. so...when we have cheerios, it's kind of like we are having breakfast with nana... yeah... ♪ yeah. you're so smart. >> what?! what?! we can talk about it? after everything i've been through? putting up with your stinking mama and riding the bus and i even got waxed for you! and i've never been to brazil. i -- you're one of the r
Univision
Aug 19, 2013 5:35am EDT
get it -- america's fastest, most reliable internet takes your entertainment to ridiculous levels. i was streaming videos, movies, music. once i realized how fast it was, that's when i got it. [ male announcer ] and now you can get it too. for a limited time, switch to fios online for an amazing $79.99 a month for the first year. plus your choice of a $300 amazon.com gift card or visa prepaid card with a 2-year agreement. technology that makes life more entertaining, call the verizon center for customers with disabilities that's powerful. at 800.974.6006 tty/v. closed captioning provided by production west. www.prodwest.com more than 75 million americans are living in pain, i had grade 4 bone on bone arthritis in both my knees. it was pretty unbearable. after a day of gardening i'm really limping badly. when i bend down to pick up eva or to do anything i experience a tremendous amount of shoulder and knee pain. are you one of them? i bought braces muscle rubs, anti-inflammatory. didn't give me any relief. there is a simple solution. today on living well with montel discover an amazin
Univision
Aug 19, 2013 11:35pm EDT
america, marshall. screaming is a motivational tool, like christmas bonuses or sexual harassment. it's just good business. oh, baby, it's just not fair.
Univision
Aug 20, 2013 6:30pm EDT
. quagmire, shut up. we're here. america's navy. a global force for good. all right, look, we're sorry we deceived you girls, but this is important. the trail leads to a bartender who works here. he could be the source of the dirty joke. hi, there. what can i do for you gentlemen? we've traveled a very long way to find out where you heard this joke. oh... (raspy laugh) i remember that. i heard it from that guy. cleveland?! hey, fellas. holy crap! who knew we'd run into you here? except everyone, if fox ruined it in the promos. what a surprise this is. hey, you know, cleveland, you better hide the markers from your kids. somebody colored in your jesus. somebody colored in your ass with too much ass, fat-ass. all right, cleveland, let's get down to business. who told you the joke? a bellhop at the royale hotel in washington, dc. i met him when i took cleveland jr. there to see the lincoln memorial. but then daddy got frustrated 'cause he couldn't find it, so we just ate fast food in the parking lot. i'm just saying, maybe put up a damn sign. anyway, the bellhop's name is sal russo. he knows
Univision
Aug 21, 2013 6:00pm EDT
at the center of america's table and in the memories of our endless summers. the real taste that would make life's little moments even more delicious. hellmann's. here's to 100 years of bringing out the best. ♪ every little thing is possible ♪ [ female announcer ] here's a fresh take on what to do with that chicken kraft fresh take kraft natural cheese on one side expertly blended spices and breadcrumbs on the other transforms your chicken in just 30 minutes ♪ love is a bright idea ♪ life is amazing ♪ with the love that i've found ♪ [ female announcer ] fresh take from kraft. every flavor is amazing. ♪ every flavor is amazing. [monotone] she says, "switch to progressive and you could save hundreds." call or click today. time ago, but what with dad gone, and, uh, mom unable to drive, i pretty much have to live with her. i mean, what's the alternative, right? mm-hmm, mm-hmm. well, you could get your own place and she could use taxis and public transportation? i'm gonna go inside now. ok? captioning made possible by sony pictures television captioned by the national captioning in
Univision
Aug 23, 2013 11:35pm EDT
entertaining every day. and once you've got verizon fios, that's when you get it -- america's fastest, most reliable internet takes your entertainment to ridiculous levels. i was streaming videos, movies, music. once i realized how fast it was, that's when i got it. [ male announcer ] and now you can get it too. for a limited time, switch to fios online for an amazing $79.99 a month for the first year. plus your choice of a $300 amazon.com gift card or visa prepaid card with a 2-year agreement. technology that makes life more entertaining, call the verizon center for customers with disabilities that's powerful. at 800.974.6006 tty/v. >> all right, mr. mayfield, your wife's gonna live. >> oh, that's great, doc. >> all right. >> yeah. damn! >> hey, baby. >> hey. >> ha ha ha. um, are you okay about what happened yesterday? >> what happened? oh, you mean the crying thing? >> yeah. >> oh, forgot all about that. >> really? >> oh, yeah. >> oh, baby, i was so worried about that. >> nah. sasha, you know, just let it go. let it go. i have. see, crying is a natural emotion that, you know, helps to rel
Univision
Aug 7, 2013 5:00pm EDT
. ncer ] hey, america, we're here help. shelper.com. hey, america, these are sandra's "homemade" yummy, scrumptious bars. hmm? maybe. rich chocolate chips... i just wanted you to eat more fiber. and then the awards started coming in, and i became addicted to the fame. topped with chocolaty drizzle... and fraudulence. you certainly are. [ male announcer ] fiber one. fiber beyond recognition. try new fiber one peanut butter protein bars. >> wendy: welcome back, everybody. kathy griffin is still with us. time for a special edition of "ask wendy and kathy." >> who better? the two or capitals. >> wendy:in??>> how you doin?? . i've been seeing a guy forabut three weeks now. we metonline. it's not official yet. rid of my profile and how d ask him to get rid of his le. >> wendy: how long have you bee? >> we've been seeing each other for three months but it's not official yet. >> intimate? >> no, not yet. >> i say that's the moment. >> wendy: i normally say three months is the time toher get together or break up. but you haven't been what if it's bad? [ applause ] >> wendy: what do you think, k
Univision
Aug 12, 2013 5:00pm EDT
another one of those, actually? thank you. [ male announcer ] hey, america, we're here to help. americashelper.com. >> wendy: we're back. so mark mcgrath is here still and you're taking your music to the high seas. tell us all about the mark mcgrath and friends cruise. >> yes, indeed. the mark mcgrath and friends cruise sets sail in october. basically it's three fun-filled days with some of the biggest multiplatinum acts of the'90s, smash mouth, n blossom, sugar ray, spin doctors, fny. it will be fun music, free cocktails in the morning. you're all welcome. >> wendy:yes. so right now mark has a surprise for one lucky audience member who will be cruising and boozing. >> yes, indeed. one lucky member gets airfare for two to miami. >> wendy: i've got it. hold on. the winner is -- diana lopez! >> diana lopez! >> wendy: oh, my gosh, so great. >>iana lopez, you've got two tickets from your hometown to miami, plus a glorious cabin on the "ss mcgrath." welcome aboard! are you excited? >> i'm so excited. this is so crazy. oh, my gosh, i get to meet you, too. >> well, hopefully it gets b
Univision
Aug 20, 2013 5:00pm EDT
handbook of america." i--i-- can't nothing get past me. you know what? let me go up and check on brianna... >> no. no. she's--she's-- you know, i like your shirt. >> you do? >> yeah, your pants, too. >> shut up. these ain't even my good pants. >> i think you dress really cool. >> you--now, you--what? you know, all these years, i've been dressing like this, and ain't nobody, not once, complimented me on how i dress. but i know the lord sent you. he had to send you. out of the mouths of babes shall it proceed out of your mouth. ooh, i thank you. you got a vision. you got a eye for style. you anointed just for fashion. >> [yawns] you guys, i can't sleep with all this noise. >> oh, don't worry. joaquin was just talking about my clothes. >> joaquin, you know it's not nice to insult your elders. >> no. he wasn't consulting me. he was telling me how much he liked them. you know what? you like this, joaquin, my shirt and the pants? i got something just for you up here, joaq-- oh, you gonna like this. i'm gonna hook you up. >> ha ha! that was so close. thank you so much. i owe you. >> yeah, you d
Univision
Aug 25, 2013 10:00am EDT
, incredible season and we still got changes to go in america throughout the world on race. a lot of changes. but the fact is she stood up and said, no, i'm not going to take that. incredible. incredible to me. what you can tolerate you cannot change. if you can live with a husband that beats you, he won't quit. one woman came to me and said, my husband beat me for 20 years. i said obviously the damage occurred on the first beating when you stayed around for beating number two you qualified for the relationship. what you can tolerate you cannot change. you can only change when you hype the present. watch this. it is not enough to see canaan,. what you can tolerate financially, emotionally, spiritually, you cannot change. you must hate the present to qualify for a future. whatever you can adapt to, you have to. get ahold of that. i'm going to come back to that on another wisdom key. write this down. number two, what you respect, you will attract. not what you love, what you respect. i shared this a few weeks ago, what you respect you will attract. what you don't respect will move away from yo
Univision
Aug 9, 2013 7:00am EDT
, in your marketplace, and i'm known as america's number-one and top real estate investing expert. and why am i telling you this? because we'll show you and take, and the benefit for you is this: if you're sitting on the other side of this camera going, "you know what, armando? i go, i've tried everything,ed , i've tried other things and they didn't work out," this will work if you do exactly what i say and allow me to lead you by the han if you're a stay-at-home mom, or you know what, if you're a single mom and you've been left alone and you have children to support and you know that you deserve a better life and you need a better life and right now is the time to get a better life, and you know that you need to do better financially for your family, then real estate and my system, my live events can help get you there now. if you're a man who, literally, wife lost faith in him, if your wife lost faith in you and says, "you know what? he's a good man, but he's not successful and he's not providing for our family the way he should," check out the video testimonial of one of my students who
Univision
Aug 9, 2013 5:35am EDT
a manthat . he is america's top real estate investing expert, he has been featured on the number-one real estate hit reality ow, flip this house, and is a best-selling author. he is the most sought-out real estate expert in the world, and has changed thousands of people's financial futures. you now have the opportunity to spend time learning armando's money-making real estate strategies at his live event coming to your area. >> i went to armando's live event, and after six weeks, i made $45,000.. you can do it . go to his live event. >> four months ago, i took armando's live event and have had two offers accepted since then and look to make about $60,000.was in the i.t. and construction industries as a project manager. armando's live event showed me how i can go without any credit or money of my own and get five houses under contract with $160,000 in profit. event. it will change your life. >> announcer: armandoelongo, st, and inc. 500's number one educational company in the country is bringing his armando live event series to your area this week. this is a rare opportunity to learn arman
Univision
Aug 9, 2013 11:00pm EDT
you get it -- america's fastest, most reliable internet takes your entertainment to ridiculous levels. i was streaming videos, movies, music. once i realized how fast it was, that's when i got it. [ male announcer ] and now you can get it too, for just $89.99 a month guaranteed for 2 years, plus your choice of a $300 amazon.com gift card or a $300 visa prepaid card with a 2-year agreement. technology that makes life more entertaining, call the verizon center for customers with disabilities that's powerful. at 800.974.6006 tty/v. technology that makes life more entertaining, so you don'te verizon center live here anymore?h disabilities no, no, i've had my own place for about a year now. you? yeah, 12 years i've been on my own. 8 if you don't count the hospitals. hey. hi. hiya, raymond. hiya, gerard. uh, good morning, cousin. hello, raymond. you hungry, dear? i'm making some eggs for you, too. is that my shirt? oh, well, he had a stain on his other one. all done, aunt marie. do you mind if i visit your rest room? no, dear. go ahead. be careful in there, all right? 'cause you're not gett
Univision
Aug 11, 2013 5:30am EDT
to meet a muture n. he is america's top real estate investing expert, he has been featured on the number-oneality, flip this house, and is a best-selling author. he is the most sought-outrt in , and has chan people's financial futures. yoty to spend time learning armando's money-making real estatestrategs live event coming to your area. >> i went to armando's live event, and after six weeks, i made $45,000. i did it. you can do it too. go to his live event. >> four months ago, i took armando's live event and have had two offers accepted since then and look to make about $60,000. >> prior to this, i was in the i.t. and construction industries as a project manager. armando's live event showed me how i can go without any credit or money of my own and get five houses under contract with $160,000 in profit. go to the live event. your life. >> announcer: armando montelongo, star of a&e's hit tv show flip t and inc. 500's number oneationay in the country is bringing his armando live event series to your area this week. this is a rare opportunity to learn armando's millionaire real estate strate
Univision
Aug 19, 2013 11:00pm EDT
every day. and once you've got verizon fios, that's when you get it -- america's fastest, most reliable internet takes your entertainment to ridiculous levels. i was streaming videos, movies, music. once i realized how fast it was, that's when i got it. [ male announcer ] and now you can get it too. for a limited time, switch to fios online for an amazing $79.99 a month for the first year. plus your choice of a $300 amazon.com gift card or visa prepaid card with a 2-year agreement. technology that makes life more entertaining, call the verizon center for customers with disabilities that's powerful. at 800.974.6006 tty/v. since i've been using crest pro-health, i've noticed a huge improvement. [ male announcer ] go pro. for a clean that's up to four times better, try these crest pro-health products together. the toothpaste is really awesome. it cleans a lot. [ male announcer ] crest pro-health protects not just some, but all these areas dentists check most. this is gonna be a very good checkup. i feel it. [ male announcer ] go pro with crest pro-health toothpaste. always triclosan free.
Univision
Aug 22, 2013 6:00pm EDT
recipe he would create an unmistakable taste that would find itself at the center of america's table and in the memories of our endless summers. the real taste that would make life's little moments even more delicious. hellmann's. here's to 100 years of bringing out the best. with venus and olay. olay moisture bars help lock in moisture for less dryness while five blades get venus close. revealing smooth. and goddess skin begins. only from venus and olay. revealing smooth. and goddess skin begins. if yand you're talking toevere rheuyour rheumatologistike me, about trying or adding a biologic. this is humira, adalimumab. this is humira working to help relieve my pain. this is humira helping me through the twists and turns. this is humira helping to protect my joints from further damage. doctors have been prescribing humira for over ten years. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to ra symptoms. for many adults, humira is proven to help relieve pain and stop further joint damage. humira can lower your ability to fight inf
Univision
Aug 23, 2013 6:00am EDT
today show," and "good morning america," and featured in top beauty publications, like allure, elle, essence, and o. and dr. taylor's not just a dermatologist. she's also board certified in internal medicine. so she really takes an inside-out approach to skin health. i was fortunate enough to sit down with the amazing dr. taylor and learn all about our skin and her revolutionary skin-care breakthrough. welcome, dr. taylor. girl, you are a phenomenal woman. >> well, thank you. >> i just love it. why do you think that skin of color is just so unique? >> well, skin of color is very different from caucasian skin, and the difference really centers around the pigment that we call melanin. that melanin pigment that's in that skin is very reactive. so what that means is that a simple cut, scrape, even an acne pimple can lead to a dark mark. and that can last a very long time. it's a problem that many women of color grapple with. >> so that's what led you to create rx for brown skin. >> that's absolutely right. so, many of my patients would say, "do you know, dr. taylor? all we hear about is
Univision
Aug 8, 2013 7:00am EDT
in america, become america's number-one real estate mentor, leader, and trainer and investor, and ultimately i wouldn't be talking to you right now. if i can do it, you can do it. if my students can do it, you can do it. anybody can do i training, but you got to call that number. >> announcer: armando montelongo, star of a&e's hit tv show flip this house, ber one educational company in the country is bringing his armando live event series to your area this week. this is a rare opportunity to learn armando's millionaire real estate strategies that made him a household name. armando's team will take you by the hand and show can eliminate debt and create cash now so you d your family can benefit from today's foreclosure market. at armando's live event,ll learn help others out of foreclosure while making huge sums of cash in today's market and in your backyard; that now is the time to buy renovate, and sell real estate with or without your money or your credit; that you can do this in your marketplace now; you can get pre-foreclosures and foreclosures the way armando does you can change your fam
Univision
Aug 21, 2013 7:00am EDT
, in australia, in america, and you're just a little lazy. it's just a little too much of an effort. you know, let's take something simple, like praying over our food. we better pray sincerely, because there's a whole bunch of stuff in it that could kill us if we don't pray over it. well, what do we do? and i'm guilty, too, "thank you, lord, for this food. bless it in my body. in the name of jesus, amen." or then sometimes after we've eaten half of it, "bless the lord, o my soul, and all that's already in me." well you know, it's one thing to do it as an obligation or just a habit of something we do, but the faith is really not working unless we take a moment to sincerely pray. "father, i'm praying over this food and i thank you for it, and i pray, god, if there's anything in it that's harmful, that you won't let it harm me. in jesus' name, amen." so it's one thing to have faith. it's another thing to actually use your faith and exercise your faith. so the bible talks about the shield of faith, and in mark 11:22, which is kind of our foundation scripture, it simply says, "have faith in god [c
Univision
Aug 13, 2013 5:00am EDT
with nothing and no credit but thanks to sign & drive for 45 i am now driving a registered car in america. thank you sign & drive 45. i had car repair trouble and the bills were way more than what the car was worth. so i went to sign & drive for 45 and that was 0 down payment no payments for six weeks what more could you ask for? how many working people we got out here? working people you work 9 to 5 got a little job. majority of the people. i got a job i hate my job because i got that one supervisor been getting on my nerves he wanted to be the manager and never be able to be the manager you know what i'm talking about he just take the job too seriously like i was watching the news the other day and this reporter was covering the war on terrorists and he was covering the war and this is what i mean people taking their job to serious a bomb goes off during this guy's report and he set there like the bomb didn't go off. hey this is dan rather over here in baghdad apparently 4 american soldiers got shot boom as you guys just heard a bomb just went off behind we're going to keep focused and
Univision
Aug 19, 2013 7:00am EDT
! [barks] chorus: ♪ dog tales alex: america's premiere dog lover's magazine show. [captioning made possible by telco productions, inc.] [barking] [barking] chorus: ♪ dog tales [barking] alex: all the latest news from the dog world... [barking] chorus: ♪ dog tales alex: right now on this edition of dog tales. [dog barks] graphic: special guest host family... man: ♪ ooh, i love my dog, love my dog... ♪ alex: meet the overturf family from northridge, california, proud owners of a pair of lovable pooches named shiloh and amber. duane: amber is a golden retriever-cocker spaniel mix. my wife got her as a rescue dog years ago before i ever met my wife. that's actually how we met. she hired me to help her with amber, her training. [chuckles] catherine overturf: amber, i adopted when--they said she was about a year old. and she just has been an amazing dog. she's really kind and sweet and smart, and boy, she patrols the yard and keeps all the squirrels away. and we just love her to death. and she was so happy when lindsey was born. she's just been great with her, and we're just--she's just a
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